Remaking

 

My trip to Portland did wonders for my mental health.  I was not responsible for anyone but myself.  I went were I wanted to go, when I pleased, and for any length of time I deemed necessary to get my fill.  It was heaven, but I missed the kids and my husband.

One of the reasons I took this vacation was to have uninterrupted time to make the things I want to make, when I want to make them.  Spinning, knitting, felting, etc:  all on the agenda.    I just wanted to get it out of my system.

I have a voracious appetite for making things.  Its satisfied only by the release of my idea into sketch or prototype form.  Any time I have at home to craft is interrupted again and again by requests for juice or play, and I am left completely unfulfilled creatively and feeling guilty that I have yet to play with the kids or fold the laundry.   You can tell that it feels like a whirlwind to me, that nothing slows down for me to catch up.

This state of being is not good for any of us.  My attitude had to change without giving up the feeling I get when I make something with my two hands because that feeling, I could not do without.  It is a warmth that stirs below the surface an eventually puffs my chest with pride that I finished something conceived in my own mind.  After all, my greatest projects, Livy and Liam, are never-ending.

I am determined that everything I do, from laundry to making dinner, should be a "making" experience.  I promised myself that from now on I would slow down, have more patience, cook and bake more, make more of the things we need instead of buy them.

So far, I am quieter and I am more content.  I feel less of that crazy nagging to make something with fabric and fiber.  Instead I hand make the bread for dinner or continue work on the needle felted dinosaur Liam's been wanting.  I no longer put off the kids until "this row is done".

I am "craftizing" my life.  Finding a way I can in every facet of life to craft something special, to make something special for someone else, whether its banana muffins for breakfast or a special place on the closet door for cling wrap.  

And in that, I feel the "making" forces me to slow down from the dizzying pace at which I normally spin and accept that I cannot do everything.  The things I can do however will be hand-crafted. 

Homemade Banana Muffins for Breakfast.